it is so disheartening to see the 5 dragon boat enthusiasts died in the race in Cambodia. it suppose to be a joyous event isn't it?
out of sudden, i can only think of one word to describe this world, &that is fearful. .
there seem to have many natural disasters (i reckon there is more to come) happened ard us, &my question is why these pple are choose to pay for the price &to died in vain?

i believe everyone out there know God chose Jesus to died for us on the Cross to pay the price of our sin. but wait, are these pple chosen again to pay for our sin as well?
i know i do sound abstract over here, but im severely traumatised when i heard abt this news cuz im d most emo creature on this earth.

what if one day i realised i jus lost a good friend or my loved one, or i jus left w/o seeing dem the last time or saying my last word to my beloved.
seriously if you ask me what is my reaction, all i can say is i really cant tk the blow though everyone have to go thru death.

however deep down, i believe God has his reasons for making all these happen.
well i know some of you are fellow christians but im not judging GOD, jus wanna spell out how i felt.

"I am a leader and I hope to set a positive example for young people to have the courage to achieve their dream." ~by Mr Rueben Kee.

may all the families members and friends of the 5 National dragon boaters will have the strength and courage to move on regardless of what circumstanses they are facing now or in the future. GOD BLESS.

well exam is officially ended.
i sld spelled -H-U-R-R-A-Y-!!
instead, i felt uneasy.
d OB exam was a disaster!
2hrs to write 2essays (20marks each) are definitely not enough!
i didnt manage to finish my second essay.
im so upset &worried!
i dont deny i was shivering during the exam.
d stress &tension i experienced during dat 2hrs is killing me.
perhaps i gave myself too much pressure.
i so hate myself for behaving lidat. but i really cant help it.
i cant afford to fail.
i cant afford to see my efforts gone to waste.
d only thing i can help myself now is to stop thinking abt it.
i wanna thx my sim babes for being so encouraging towards one another, thx my ah ma who boiled 3bowls of bird nest for me (whoa! in a week!) and my babyy who often accompany me and gave me strength. love ya!!
now,im so anticipate towards the date 05Dec where my exam results will be released.
GOD, pls don let me lose faith in myself.

last day of 1st sem (edited by shereen)

im left with 3more days to OB exam.
as the date get nearer, my mind starts to erect a state of confusion and anxiety.
im not sure am i fully prepare for this exam, but i know some people around me is kidda worry that im goin overboard with the way i study.
i tried to relax myself like watching Game Plan on thursday night with babyy and gang. the show is good, hilarious and definitely makes me cheer up alot. Dwayne the Rock is such a good actor. &he is yummy!



when i reached home, i saw 2bowls of bird nest on the dining tbl. one for me and the other bowl for babyy. ah ma knows that i did not eat anything that day cuz i lost my appetite lately. Hence she buys me chicken essence and boils bird nest for me so i only had bird nest that day.







after baby left, instead of preparing to bed, i start taking out the notes &textbook and study till 5am.
i reckon the stress in me threaten my self-esteem that makes me behave in this manner.

i met up with my sim babes the next day for revision.
in the late evening, we went to have desert!













i wanna tk a nap when i reached home. but the moment i closed my eyes, i saw many words appearing before me. i opened my eyes and finally broke down into tears.
the devil in me asked me to give up and stop pushing myself so hard.
but i really cant.
i promised my dad i will extremely hard to get good grades for him.
but im so scare that i will fail him.

feelin very dreadful right now.
slept at 6 in the morning.
but woke up like 9.15am. .
simply cant sleep.
d stress in me is making me go crazy any moment.
OB - i gotta study like 17chapters of theories. oh my!
i've been muggin since ytd 6pm, however i only manage to study like 2chapters only!
the amt of things to understand, memorise and how to apply these theories definitely is a killer!
im glad i still have 6more days.
hopefully org culture and org change will be one of the three questions &i'll be super happy la!
moving on to conflict and leadership.
Traget: to finish studying at 2pm.
babe, you definitely need to move on faster.

allowing myself to relax for one day
babyy and i went to watch Superbad on tues.
the initial plan was to get a good laugh, but it turns out to be a disaster!
it is an utterly sucks show!
&best, i was almost scare to death by a caucasian old man.
he was sitting behind babyy, &he was alone.
i didnt realised someone was sitting behind.
as the movie was getting more boring, i started to lose gaze on it &i heard sound like someone crushing the plastic bag.
when i turned behind, i saw the old man looking at me and his hand(which is inside the transparent plasctic bag) was at his private part!
this show had some sexual scenes e.g. one the gal was on top of this guy, topless but with bra said: "oh, im so wet, im gonna give you the best bj. ." and throughout the movie, these words penis, virginal, bj kept repeating. aw, jus a stupid show anyway.
ok back to the old guy.
moreover the old man wore a hat and a coat. wahlau! he dressed like a psychotic murderer or a flasher lo!
i immediately turned back &i seriously felt my heart thumping really hard.
babyy sensed it &asked me wat happened &i whispered to him, and again i saw the old man head beside babyy!
OMG! very freaky isnt it!
GROSS! i saw pple masturbating in the bus before &this is my first encounter in a movie cinema. im glad i didnt manage to see anything disgusting.

oh btw, my stat probably wont get a HD anymore.
i was late 10min for my stat paper, my mind went blank during the first 15mins.
i calm myself down and start doing all the questions.
i was super confidently when i came out of d exam hall, aftermath I realised my estimated interval ans was all wrong (based on my memory)! jus because of the critical values(sld be 2tails instead of 1tail), &i guess 20marks jus flew away.
maybe im being paranoid.

a random peek took from my webcam.
see my eyebag! i gonna tk a gd rest &enjoy myself after the exam!