insomnia is acting on me again .
needa wake up at 7am &work is going to be a long &hectic day.
die man .
i simply hate the feeling of tossing &turning , making me so frustrated . meanwhile i scare i'll disturb him .

sometimes i know i've to be contended with what i have now ,
but greediness just took control of me all the times .
i know im expecting too much from him & this r/s . &yet he nver give up on me.
i felt this moment of happiness by looking &touching his sleep face, lying on his chest hearing to his heartbeat &snoring and the warm hug he gave me .

some of my family members &friends was telling me abt our vast qualification thingy might affect the direction of our lives in the future .
i know this man is still the one i love deeply .
no matter how hard it takes, i cant jus give up so easily .
i know he will work hard for our future as well .
love you .

His 24th Bday !

the bday boy ! acting emo .


jap restaurant chosen by him. the food is damn delicious, definitely worth the money !!


my babyy look so round now! but still cute with his mi mi yan . my slanted mouth looks scary ! lOls !


after dinner, he bought me to the Henderson Waves Bridge .
the bridge damn prettyy can !
I was super excited &tiring at the same time !
cuz i climbed up the slope with my pair of killer heels !
i almost die man .





this pathway symbolises the long journey that we both promised to walk hand in hand towards our future .


yummilicious strawberry cheesecake baked by Karen !
&im super glad he likes the cake.


once again, happy bday my dear!!

slept at 2am, woke up 4am .
i seriously need to tune back to the regular slping time as im starting work on Monday . extra income on the way !!

went to IKEA with Cheryl ytd afternoon to get some nice boxes .
finally had my Swedish meatballs after so much craving of it !
aftermath went to Tampines One for shopping therapy.
thanks for accompany me Ms Cheryl ! love you !!

&at last! i'd finished packing my room .
it looks neater now .
no more lecture notes &textbooks lying around le .
exams have officially ended !

i need some beauty slp badly .
need to wake up early to go church .
but my mind is super active .
&my heart is in a state of confusion .

r/s is such a pain in the neck yet so many pple want to fall for it .
&you're right, im one of that many pple . contridicting isit it ?
i guess, if im no longer with him, i'll opt for singlehood for a v.v.long period of time .
no doubt he is a good man with good temper .
in everyone eyes, im the devil he is the angel .
i jus felt so bu shuang whenever we had an argument, stereotypes took place in pple's mind, "must be Alicia's fault", "must be her hot temper" .
cuz he always giving in to me &tolerating my bad temper .
how abt me tolerating his weaknesses, no one see that .
no one see the efforts im putting in to maintain this r/s .

i jus celebrated his bday on 7th May, with the effort of me planning ahead of where to eat and ordering his cake in one mth advance from Karen. He loved the food &the cake. we'd an enjoyable celebration that night but happiness is indeed short-lived.

&jus ytd, we had a fight again .

im really sick of all the fights &arguments, the guessing &the lying games, crying uncontrollably and the feeling of my heart tearing into thousands of pieces .
why must i feel this way when i know he wont ?
there are times i felt super idiotic when he is out watching soccer with his friends, prawning or playing bball/cage happily &laughing after we had a huge fight .
why must i be the only suffering ?
all the wretchedness and heartbreaks accumulated in me is causing me to become crazy .
i really detest him &this r/s .
i can never forget what he said to me ytd, those words seem like a tight slap snapping me back to the harsh reality .

&i really detest myself for behaving this way !!

jus came back from overnight study session with YangRu, SiangChoon &Kliff .
YangRu &me went to SiangChoon's home for jamming before fetching Kliff to McD .
it was my first jamming session &it was fun !!
SiangChoon taught me how to play the keyboard &i managed to play the C chord (i guess so) .
im so so determine to learn from them after exam .
more jamming session pls !!
&i really felt much much more better after the jamming session .
heartbreaks &moodiness was replaced by smiles &laughter .
studying for me today wasnt so productive compared to thurs . lOls .
i really enjoyed their company with nver ending topics &open discussions .

btw, on my way home, i saw a major accident .
a black car was on lane 3 &the badly crashed red car was on lane 2 facing the opposing direction .
the metal bar near to lane 1 was dented, probably hit by the red car, with 2tyres on the ground .
it really disheartening to see such accident .
thus drivers' responsibility towards safety is really impt .

due to the irregular slping time, stress, exam, love affair and having too much coffee &McD, i can really feel my body's mechanisms not performing at their best performances.
i tink im falling sick .

PM paper was okie . jus that i wasted alot of marks, due to my poor time management .
i guess a DI or HD isnt within reach . disappointed once again .
now, left OT paper .
no matter how much disappointment is filled within me ,
i know i have to finish this last lap of the race .
i jus need to have more faith in myself .