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slept at 2am, woke up 4am .
i seriously need to tune back to the regular slping time as im starting work on Monday . extra income on the way !!

went to IKEA with Cheryl ytd afternoon to get some nice boxes .
finally had my Swedish meatballs after so much craving of it !
aftermath went to Tampines One for shopping therapy.
thanks for accompany me Ms Cheryl ! love you !!

&at last! i'd finished packing my room .
it looks neater now .
no more lecture notes &textbooks lying around le .
exams have officially ended !

i need some beauty slp badly .
need to wake up early to go church .
but my mind is super active .
&my heart is in a state of confusion .

r/s is such a pain in the neck yet so many pple want to fall for it .
&you're right, im one of that many pple . contridicting isit it ?
i guess, if im no longer with him, i'll opt for singlehood for a v.v.long period of time .
no doubt he is a good man with good temper .
in everyone eyes, im the devil he is the angel .
i jus felt so bu shuang whenever we had an argument, stereotypes took place in pple's mind, "must be Alicia's fault", "must be her hot temper" .
cuz he always giving in to me &tolerating my bad temper .
how abt me tolerating his weaknesses, no one see that .
no one see the efforts im putting in to maintain this r/s .

i jus celebrated his bday on 7th May, with the effort of me planning ahead of where to eat and ordering his cake in one mth advance from Karen. He loved the food &the cake. we'd an enjoyable celebration that night but happiness is indeed short-lived.

&jus ytd, we had a fight again .

im really sick of all the fights &arguments, the guessing &the lying games, crying uncontrollably and the feeling of my heart tearing into thousands of pieces .
why must i feel this way when i know he wont ?
there are times i felt super idiotic when he is out watching soccer with his friends, prawning or playing bball/cage happily &laughing after we had a huge fight .
why must i be the only suffering ?
all the wretchedness and heartbreaks accumulated in me is causing me to become crazy .
i really detest him &this r/s .
i can never forget what he said to me ytd, those words seem like a tight slap snapping me back to the harsh reality .

&i really detest myself for behaving this way !!